Sunday, October 17, 2010

One Month

Today is October 17th. One month from today is Rachel's surgery.

One Month.

As I was thinking about the date and how surgery is only one month away this morning during worship at church, I couldn't help but have tears rise to the surface.

I know she'll be fine. I know the Lord will have His hand on her and all those who operate on her, the nurses, etc, etc. And I know our family and friends will cover her and us in prayers, but I can't get past how hard it's going to be to turn her over to the surgical nurse and watch her be rolled or walked away to surgery.

I think that's the hardest part of it all. The pre-op appointment is no sweat. The sitting through surgery I'm good. Even through the initial hours following surgery, I'm good. And the days of recovery, I'm good. It's the handing over of my child to a nurse and watching her be taken to surgery that I'm a mess. And Rachel can't see me that way, or she'll become scared or worried, or even upset herself.

Even writing this post, I'm in tears.

The single most hardest thing I have ever had to do as a mother is to watch my babies be whisked away to surgery. Both of my girls. Hannah had one surgery when she was four months old, and this will be Rachel's 5th.

Please be praying for me. Praying for strength to get through that time of driving to the hospital, checking in, helping her into her hospital gown, and ultimately standing there watching as Rachel is taken from us. If I can just get through all of that, I know I can make it the rest of the way...


Allison said...

Oh Darcy, you are SO covered in prayer here! God is with you always and will be sending you his peace and wisdom on the big day. You can do it!

Take care, Allison

Kari Marchelli said...

I can't even imagine the feelings I'm going to have when Riley has his first. I know its going to break my heart. I will be praying for you guys! Hang in there!

Joy Howse said...

Tears form in my eyes just as I read this post and remember that moment like it was yesterday. Lifting you up in prayer. Remember I am here if you need ANYTHING!! And, I can be there if you need me for anything the day of surgery or the night of, or any time after.

Darcy said...

Thank You, Joy! That means a lot to me!!!