Thursday, August 31, 2017

13 Years Ago...

13 years ago on this very night, I delivered our second baby girl.

An ultrasound done the day before showed that the baby was already measuring between 9-11lbs and my due date wasn’t for another 10 days! My OB didn’t want this baby getting as big as our first baby (10 lbs at 2 weeks late) so she scheduled me for an induction the very next day.

After having labored for 9+ hours, with very little progress, it was decided it was in my best interest to have a c-section. 

At 9:21pm, Rachel Marie Fraser made her grand entrance into the world. And what a grand entrance indeed. As my OB was delivering her (all 9lbs 5oz of her), it was discovered that Rachel had been born with an undetected birth defect not picked up on any ultrasounds I’d had throughout my pregnancy. 

I’ll never forget how Dr. Koch announced to the delivery team of her discovery. I’ll never forget the feeling of laying on that table knowing I’d just given birth to a child with an undetected birth defect. I’ll never forget the feeling of being left alone for them to finish stitching me up and stabilizing me while I insisted Steven accompany Rachel to the Nursery to be checked over. I’ll never forget laying in recovery, dozing in and out of a sleepy consciousness asking for information about the baby I’d just had. Just as I’m sure Steven never forget how it felt to carry our new baby down the hall, shielding her face from our eagerly awaiting family standing in the doorway of the waiting room awaiting the joyous news of a new arrival to our family. Just as he’ll probably never forget how it felt to tell our family of her birth defect.

It was close to midnight before I was wheeled into my room. Every one of our family members had left to go home except for my parents. They waited until I was in my room, to see me, to see that I was okay. I remember telling my mom we had quite a long journey ahead of us. Thus the name of this blog.

After they left, Steven crawled into bed beside me. We talked about what lay ahead of us with this new baby with a birth defect. We cried together. We wondered why after 8 months of praying for a healthy baby, that God allowed us to have a baby with a birth defect. We’d already experienced a very difficult baby hood with Hannah, in and out of the hospital with aspiration pneumonia due to a swallowing problem. THIS baby was supposed to be our easy baby. Our healthy baby. We prayed together over all that lay ahead despite our not understanding.

The days following Rachel’s birth were kinda somber ones. We were grieving for that ‘perfectly healthy baby’. We had friends bringing us stacks and stacks of information printed from the internet regarding Cleft Lips and Palates. We had social workers and case workers visit us with such little information as to when Rachel’s first surgery would be, etc, etc. We had so many questions and really no answers.


I had a friend who was a pediatric nurse at the hospital I was at. She scheduled herself to work when she’d found out Rachel’d been born with a cleft lip and palate. She was my nurse the day after Rachel was born. She took care of me. Anticipating pain meds, gave me meds that would help with some of the trapped air pain that followed c-sections and abdominal surgeries. She made sure I ate. SHE TOOK CARE OF ME. I will always appreciate that. To do this day, she holds Rachel very dear to her heart. She’s one of the few people, aside from family, that have seen how far Rachel has come in the last 13 years. 

It wasn’t too long after Rachel’s birth when we started learning about all the health problems that sometimes accompany cleft lips and cleft palates. We’d learned that God really had answered our prayers for a healthy baby. Rachel had none of the other problems that some kids have. Her problems were fixable through surgeries. 

Thirteen years later and I can tell you God has been there every step of the way. He’s guided and directed the surgeon’s hands in all of her surgeries (5 thus far directly relating to her birth defect), plus an appendectomy). He’s opened doors for an amazing Speech Pathologist and Orthodontist. And he’s given me plenty of opportunities to encourage, be supportive, and offer advice to mom’s behind us on this same journey through email, and through this blog. 

God’s got special things in mind for our Rachel. I was reminded of that today when her and I went to lunch for her birthday and she prayed for our lunch. She prayed for all the people who were without power (the city the girls go to school in were experiencing a power outage) and she prayed for protection for the firefighters we’d just seen battling a new fire started a couple miles from our home. She has a heart of compassion, she’s caring, and God’s gonna use her somehow to continue to bring Him Glory. 

So on this night, 13 years later, I’m reminiscing. I’m filled with emotion. I’m thankful that Lord always has us in His hands. Always has His plan in tact. And I’m thankful He chose us for Rachel’s parents. 

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